How the F did we get here?
Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban, a major opponent of Donald Trump prior to the election, is now calling The Donald “America’s #1 draft pick.” It’s a scary thought that even powerful billionaires can potentially be bought over by the incoming regime. Perhaps it’s only a matter of time before we are all assimilated? Perhaps. But not today.
The resistance lives on.
Führer-elect Trump has gone on a “Victory Tour.” No, seriously. This is a real thing.
Somehow we’re still alive. That is all. Goodnight.
Cinnamon Hitler has yet to hold a press conference addressing the public about his election win. This is longer than any modern president has ever waited. One has to wonder if he’ll hold one soon, or if the task of combining his tweets into real words for a speech is just too daunting.
A report came out today that Canadian grocery prices are likely to go up because of The Donald. While he makes America great again, apparently he’s going to ruin Canada. So much for fleeing to the north. The resistance will now look to Plan B Plan C Plan D Plan E for it’s survival.
The Trump famine has begun, resulting in fewer and fewer updates, but the resistance still holds strong.
President Barry has called for the construction of the Dakota Pipeline to be halted and rerouted. Activists are concerned that it won’t be finished before the inauguration, however, after which it is expected to be renamed the “Trump Pipeline” and will charge a 50% tax on the soil for licensing the name.
In other news, our Führer-elect has nominated someone named “Mad Dog” as secretary of defense, presumably because he couldn’t make a deal with Underdog. It’s unfortunate, because he usually makes great deals. He’s the best at deals.
Despite missing a day in the log, the world has not yet ended.
The day was spent scavenging the deserted area formerly known as Disney World. So much has changed. We managed to flee being chased by giant rats, ducks, and a creature that looked like it was part dog (it looked very goofy), but then still had to endure a massive elevator crash. We’ve since manged to joke about this experience, calling it the “Trump Tower of Terror.”
Nonetheless, we made it out with minimal injury, and will continue on. Long live the resistance!
