Minority Citizen

Tacos for lunch!  Before all things Mexican are deported.  Wait, what do you mean food doesn’t count?  Only people?  Are you sure?  I don’t care, I’m not chancing it.  Tacos for lunch!

No Washington DC public school marching band will perform at the Presidential inauguration.  None applied.  Zero.  President-elect Biff has not yet tweeted about the situation, but a response is expected soon.  After the initial slut-shaming of public schools and your favorite history teacher, all districts will be sued for their lunch money, and band class will be outsourced to China.

Führer-elect Trump has demanded the names of all individuals in the US Energy Department who worked on climate change.  President Barry has refused to give these names, but with his time in office coming to an end, few believe this will be the end of this chapter.  The resistance is currently scrambling to find shelter for all of these individuals before Orange Hitler is able to round them up.

Kanye West and The Donald were spotted taking pictures together at Trump Tower yesterday.  For the first time in his life, Kanye had nothing to say.  My initial guess would’ve been that he’s the front-runner to become Secretary of Bullshit, but the new administration has promised to merge that title with that of President.  One thing is for certain, though: Kanye has been assimilated.  The resistance feels no loss.

Führer-elect Trump took offense to being named Time Magazine’s “Person of the Year.” This is presumably because he’s not a real person.  A long-running theory within the resistance has been that he’s actually a host bot from Westworld.  There is not yet any concrete evidence for that, but it’s something we’ve been hearing…

The electoral college vote takes place in 6 days.  Resistance members, politicians, shamans, trolls, elves, and everyone in between have been trying rampantly to sway electoral college voters to flip their votes and not elect Trump into office.  Some electors have vowed not to vote for him, while others have dropped out of the role completely.  It remains to be seen how many actually do flip, but the odds of enough changing to prevent Trump’s election seems very slim.

I have returned from my trip to New York.  I spent the weekend partying with other resistance members in what might be our final holiday season.  While everyone provided me with a warm welcome, the terrain of icy tundra did not.  For a second I did think that remaining in a land where I never saw the sun could better prepare me for the upcoming regime, but then I thought it better to return home and enjoy what little daylight time I had left.

I shall remain in Florida, where I can better function and the resistance needs more help.  Another day on, another day strong.

Today I venture on a journey to the island of New York.  As I wait to board, I can only wonder what the differences may be, traveling from a red state to a blue state in these troubling times.  While my mere existance in the province of Florida is met with mixed reaction, will the York of New provide a better welcoming?  Or will it gun me down like a b!@$% a$$ +!##@ who ain’t got no business in Queens?

We shall see.  If I don’t survive, don’t lose hope.  The resistance is more than one man, and will remain strong!